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What Families Need to Know About Alcohol Addiction |
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Page 1 of 2 Family members that have been affected by alcohol abuse/alcoholism need to understand first and foremost that alcoholism is a disease that hurts everyone in the family, not just the alcoholic. Alcoholism is known as the “Family Disease.” To date, over 76 million American adults have been exposed to alcoholism in the family. Alcoholism is responsible for more family problems than any other single cause.
Although it may feel like you are helpless, there are a number of things that family members can do to assist a loved one that is suffering from an addiction to alcohol. The first step for any family coping with the effects of this disease is to focus on healing. Whether the alcoholic agrees to seek treatment/help or not, there are many resources available to the family which can help you understand this disease and the effects it may have on the alcoholic, as well as the family. Children are especially vulnerable and need additional support and guidance. Family members need to have their experiences validated in order to heal. Support groups, counseling and a variety of self-help books may provide some validation for family members. Researching the variety of Internet resources and publications about alcoholism will provide family members with the tools that they need to begin rebuilding their lives.
Family members who have become accustomed to living with the alcoholic are in a sort of denial themselves. What family members may consider to be helpful is actually more damaging to the alcoholic than they may realize. These actions are referred to as “enabling” the alcoholic. For example: “Helping” is doing something for someone who is not capable of doing things for themselves. “Enabling” is doing for someone things that they can/should do for themselves. Have you ever called in sick for the alcoholic? Do you find yourself frequently accepting blame or apologizing for their behavior? Do you avoid talking about their drinking? Have you ever bailed them out of jail or paid their legal fees? Have you paid their bills for them? Have you loaned them money? Have you ever threatened to leave the alcoholic but never did due to the guilt? Have you ever said to the alcoholic, “I will give you one more chance.” Have you ever finished a project for the alcoholic because they didn’t do it themselves? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are an enabler.
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